A couple of weekends ago, I officiated the marriage of Elaine’s sister Sue and her fiance Pascal.  They asked me to write a few minutes on the topic of love, and the result was my “Everyone’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen).”

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At times you’ll feel closer and at times more distant.  Neither is indicative of how you’ll feel in a week, month, or year.  You’re like two moons in orbit around the same planet. Enjoy the closeness and the distance and know that neither is permanent.

Make a voice for the cat.

Make dates.  Only seeing someone at home at the end of the day can give you a distorted sense of who they are.

Make big compromises.  You’ll be amazed how they work out in your favor. For instance, I didn’t want to move to New York, and Elaine didn’t want to date me.

When you fight, break it up with the occasional hug.  After the fight’s over, you won’t remember the resolution so much as the fight itself.  It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.

If you’re watching a TV series on DVD together, don’t start watching episodes without the other person, or they’ll hold it against both you and “Lost” for the rest of your lives.

You’ll eventually let loose a nickname in front of your friends, so make sure it’s something acceptable, like “Love,” and not “Captain banana pants.”

Spend whole days together.  You’ll be amazed what you didn’t know about each other.

Eventually you will know everything there is to know about each other.  That’s a very exciting point.  That’s when you can stop facing each other and start facing the world. Side-by-side is even more intimate than face-to-face.

When they were young, Sue and Elaine couldn’t beat Mario 3 level 8.  At some point, they’re going to want to.  Hop from cannon ball to cannon ball and earn enough points to collect extra lives in case you die.  I just saved you three grueling weeks.

Don’t read the diary.  Do you think they keep a diary to write about how amazing you are?  DON’T DO IT.

Be the second sibling to get married.  That way you can learn from the other’s mistakes.  (Take it or leave it.)

Finally, ignore every piece of advice you hear about love and relationships… except for this: love each other stubbornly.  Stubbornly.  And be stubborn about nothing else.